turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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