you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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