first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
false alarm. still invincible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I pour the whiskey from now on
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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