You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
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My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
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I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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