She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
