You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
