Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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