pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
