I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.