Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
