this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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