Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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