Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
where does the pee come out of this thing
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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