I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
