I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
the raccoons are back...
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