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I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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