I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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