Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
