He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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