so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
