I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
