a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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