It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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