I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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