I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
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