woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
