Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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