16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
