Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
