When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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