I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Dignity is for republicans.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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