i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
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