Your face is a jimmy john
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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