Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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