first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
