i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
