i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Randomize
