I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
