I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
