New invention idea: vibrating tampons
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
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