so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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