I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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