Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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