I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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