oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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