Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
