i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Randomize
