you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
