dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
