I'm laying in your front yard are you home
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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