do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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