Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
