My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
i out mim tonsoeep
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