She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
