Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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