she was so not down for the gang bang
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
