i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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