I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize