i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
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when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
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I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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