Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
