ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
