WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
